School, Schedules, and Structure…oh my! {But really this is about chores and allowance}


Summer season = Structural Hiatus in our home. And boy, do we struggle enough with structure to begin with.

With the school season banging at the door, the only thing that has me excited is “structure”

Having an ADHD husband and 5 wild things boys can be very trying on a woman’s ability to manage her household. {Proverbs 31:27}  Although I despise that the public school system dictates our family schedule, I also secretly love that I can try to instill some structure (and BLAME it on school).


“It’s not my turn”

“I did that yesterday”

“I wasn’t even home”

“Dude, that’s not fair”

Gets really.REALLY old…..

We have been working on a “system” to reinstate chores. I have also been revisiting “allowance” (something we have not been very diligent in, in the past). Although chores AND allowance will NOT be connected, I am seeking advice for both situations here.  (Cheater, I know…)

I don’t believe that children should be given allowance for completing household chores.

It is their home to take pride in just as well as ours and no one pays us to clean it.

Sure would be nice though!

In this; I came up with a list, and have been trying to tweak it a bit over the last couple weeks. In the mean time I have come across many GREAT ideas over at Frantically Simple regarding chores, allowance, and extra jobs, and have found it to be very encouraging, only issue is……most of the situations don’t match mine.

So, here’s my deal-e-oh:

We have bigger boys:

Should a son with his own job be assigned the same amount of chores as a child who does not work outside the home? (yes, I believe he should have SOME chores…it’s his home too)

Should a son with a job and income of his own qualify for allowance?

We have a Blended family:

Should the son that does not live here full time be assigned chores when he’s here, or should we just throw a few things his way when he’s here?

Should a son who does not live here full time qualify for an allowance?

I have an ADHD husband:

Ok, I snuck this one in….. Often times my sweet husband will develop great systems with me, only to nearly be the cause of our failure just weeks later, because he truly does not have the ability to follow structure. He doesn’t mean it, and I know this: therefore I do not blame him (well, I’m working on that)…just wondering if anyone has ideas on how to keep HIM on task….

Our income is limited:

The largest factor in our children NOT receiving allowance consistently over the years has been lack of resource. We offer allowance, and then can’t seem to keep up with it. 5 boys is a large payroll! I want the set allowance to be enough to make an impact, but small enough that we can keep up with our end.


About multipurpose-mom

Stacey is a: Saved by Grace, God fearing, Bible believing, Child of the King! In her chaotic world of full time employment, being a wife, raising 5 boys, laundry, dishes, carpool, PTSA, and on and on: She is STILL trying to fulfill God's call in her share her story, her battles, her triumphs, and testimonies of being a teen mom from a drug addicted home, to being the not so perfect wife and mother she is today! Her prayer is to lift up and encourage others through the words that God lays before her! In her chaos she has learned, she is not just a wife and mother.....she is a taxi driver, a nurse, a referee, a counselor, a maid, a cook and so much more...she has MANY purposes! Welcome to, Here we hope you find strength, humor, tears, and tangibility for your journey....whatever it is! Please feel free to comment (we LOVE comments) and if you are blessed, please won't you share the blessing with others! Thanks for Visiting! In Christ!

4 responses »

  1. Set a base allowance for each boy, then make a points deduction list (things they know they should not do, but do anyway).
    Then for every infraction they make, make a point deduction.
    For every point deduction lower the allowance a set amount, this way they’re not getting paid for doing chores or other things but getting less for each time they do something wrong. ☺☺

  2. Thank you for your kind words. Those are great questions! I’ll be interested to see what others have to say. Regarding Daniel’s comment – that can work. We occasionally set up “fines” for behavior. For example, we bought a watermelon the other day and I keep seeing seeds all over the house (from spitting or pinching, I’m sure – kids!). I told my daughter that I would be changing 50 cents for every seed I see today, and the seeds all disappeared before any fines could be issued. We don’t have a set “menu” of what may cost money, but I do use fines when a situation comes up that seems to warrant it.
    Good luck!

  3. You do have quite the dilema! My husband doesn’t have ADHD but he’s a musician. ‘Nuff said. He WANTS to help me with routines/plans/schedules, he just CAN’T. He doesn’t like the ensuing chaos (or at least that’s what he says, I think maybe he does like it a bit) but I can’t impose my will on him, so when the plans aren’t followed I just have to “suck it up” so to speak. I’m so curious to find out if a bit of routine would calm our 5 year old son (who came to us thru foster/adoption) but we just can’t seem to follow anything long enough to find out.

    Sorry I didn’t have any advice!

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