Piercings, image and representation (or am I just being duped by the 12 yr. old?)

Body Piercing

To pierce, or not to pierce...?

I recently had quite a long discussion regarding piercings, image, and representation with a certain pretty awesome 12 yr. old boy. (My son)
The debate is;
He wants to pierce his ears, with the hope to gauge them, and then eventually pierce his lip. Now he wasn’t asking if he could do ALL of the above right NOW, but he was asking permission, and asking WHEN he would possibly be able to pierce such parts.
Of course my first reaction is a big.FAT.NOO!!
But I was careful not to spout out that answer…you see, I’m really trying to be more selective with that answer, because a lot of times, I really have no good reason for it, other than I don’t want to be bothered with the situation. (Well…I’d REALLY rather NOT be bothered with this situation) but it isn’t    going away, so I must face it. {{Pouts}}
A shortened version of the conversation;
M:”Why do you want them pierced?”
B:”Because it looks sweet”
M:”Even though you shouldn’t necessarily “care” about what people thinks of you, you should care about the image you portray in society, because you represent yourself, your family and your Jesus.”
B:”I don’t care what people think of me, and society is stupid anyway…why is it ok for them to JUDGE me?”
~I pondered for a little while, While he didn’t exactly give me a good reason why he wants his ears, or lip, or whatever else pierced, he DID make a valid point….”Why IS it okay for society to judge him?”
I try a little harder;
M:“Son, if I crawl out of bed in the morning, don’t comb my hair, or even get out of my pj’s…then I head to the store, what does that say about me? It says, I don’t care enough about myself to put a little time investing in my appearance. When we care about something we take care of it. Like your basketball….you LOVE that ball, so after you use it, you wipe it off, and place it safely in your room because you care about it.”
M:“I don’t care what people think about me as far as if I’m pretty enough, or thin enough, or have the best clothes, car, or house….I DO however care about the image I display as a child of God, I care if people are receptive to me”
B:”How is it fair that the world gets to judge me just because I have an earring in my ear or lip? It doesn’t make me a bad person. Too bad for them if they won’t give people a chance, and they want to stereotype or judge me”
My last effort;
M:”Son, it’s not always judgmental in the way you see it. The Bible tells us to judge a tree by the fruit that it bears. If you were looking for an apple on a tree and came across 2 apples on a branch… One was perfect ad round, red and shiny, but the other had rotten spots, and a worm coming from it…which apple would you choose?”
B:“Mom, what does this have to do with apples?????”
So, now he’s just plain wearin’ me down….I’m out of energy, out of argument, and out of patience….
The Best reason I have at this time to tell him NO is kinda based on the stigma society has placed on it, and yet it seems to me he has a fairly rational arguments, and he’s right; it ISN’T fair that society gets to judge him, but it IS a fact of life! I also feel as though he hasn’t seemed to be able to give me a good clear answer on WHY he wants piercings.
Are his arguments valid, am I over analyzing this whole ordeal or am I just being duped by my 12 yr. old?
Would you allow your 12 or 13 yr. old child to pierce his ears, lip, nose, etc…?
 Link up, at M.O.B. Society…growing Godly men! (9/8/11)
 Mothers of Boys

About multipurpose-mom

Stacey is a: Saved by Grace, God fearing, Bible believing, Child of the King! In her chaotic world of full time employment, being a wife, raising 5 boys, laundry, dishes, carpool, PTSA, and on and on: She is STILL trying to fulfill God's call in her life.....to share her story, her battles, her triumphs, and testimonies of being a teen mom from a drug addicted home, to being the not so perfect wife and mother she is today! Her prayer is to lift up and encourage others through the words that God lays before her! In her chaos she has learned, she is not just a wife and mother.....she is a taxi driver, a nurse, a referee, a counselor, a maid, a cook and so much more...she has MANY purposes! Welcome to Multipurposemom.com, Here we hope you find strength, humor, tears, and tangibility for your journey....whatever it is! Please feel free to comment (we LOVE comments) and if you are blessed, please won't you share the blessing with others! Thanks for Visiting! In Christ!

9 responses »

  1. Let me leave a small reminders of “two apples I found on a tree” One apple liked to make sure he was dressed in all brand name clothes…never got dirty and for all purposes was always “shiny” in others eyes…This particular apple hated anything to do with piercings..tattoos or getting his hands dirty-i.e..rotten spots and a worm coming from it (bad choice of words for the other apple but keeping txt with the above story)
    The second apple (u know the rotten spots and worm one) loved peircings-i.e(lets say that is the worm..lol) and making sure he worked hard at most everything he does and many times would have to run out into public to get a part or supply after working hard and becoming very dirty or greasy-i.e(lets just call those the rotten spots..lol)
    The first apple all “shiny” turned out to be a horrible person..abusive, lazy and other evils found inside the core and carried no love or thought for none but his self!
    The second apple was found to be thoughtful, full of love, a very hard worker and always thinks of others before his self!!!

    Now you tell me which apple you would have chosen had you looked past the outside and seen what was REALLY in the core!

    Hope this helps!

    • you know I love you girl…AND your new “rotten apple”….life just mixes things ALL up…don’t it! cause you also know I’m a FIRM believer in NOT judging a book by it’s cover…? 🙂

  2. From a religious perspective;
    Many times over throughout the Bible verses quote that it is displeases God to cut, scar, or disfigure the body (Jesus referred to it as a temple)

    From a social perspective;
    Adapting such displays of self-serving decorations are typically done for shock value and not self-expression at all. It is selfish in nature for the one who displaying is not subject to see the offence of an irritated puncher in the flesh. Society generally judges one by their actions, if your actions reflect this self-proclaiming behavior. This inevitably is the world you must tolerate.

    From a health perspective;
    Natives that 1st opened the ear lobs to disproportionate sizes proved it to be irreversible
    These are often easily infected (especially in the tongue).
    In a world where hand sanitized is everywhere proves unwise to practice such

    From a family perspective;
    What does one care about more? The comfort and admirations of family or
    The selfish satisfaction of getting one’s own way in spite of the emotional backlash.
    Again (religiously) thou shall honor thy Mother and thy Father

    They are unnatural and by no means cool in any way
    Be content with what God has given you to walk this world and though this life

  3. My battle is with extreme hair and makeup. My daughter says the same thing; “It not fair that the world judges people by appearances.” I get the whole eye rolling thing and everything. I tell her that she is right it is not fair but its the world we live in and she will probably continue to have trouble fitting into an adult world and in finding a job. I do not think my patients would take me seriously if I had pink harir and eyeliner stretched to my ears,,,JUST SAYIN’ “whatever mom” Angie

  4. Tell my sweet grandson he is not from any tribe and does not need a guage in his ears. This was a pratice of a religious act in tribes, our religious side believe this to be a viliation of Gods holy temple. I have always been so proud of him and his love for his church and God, and a good strong believer at such a young age. What has happend to him?
    Here is what I would love to know, if he really don’t care what others think then is all this for him and what he likes,or because he and his friends think it would be cool? Maybe his friends think you and Phil won’t allow it so he needs to prove you will? Here is a question, when you go out amoung people and friends, do you care if you look good in their eyes, or if you make God shine in their eyes allowing God to be the one to look good? I hope I only look cool because God looks so cool through me and how I repesnt Him in all I do, say, act, and my apperance….

  5. I agree wholeheartedly with everyone above. And I’m coming from a different perspective, having learned this lesson the hard way.

    I have 2 holes in each ear. I’m a woman, so obviously pierced ears are a thing of “beauty” – or so we like to think. I enjoy accessorizing with earrings, two in each was just a fun thing to do, different from everyone else.

    KO has some REALLY valid, practical points. However, we have to be careful about pulling the Bible into this because it doesn’t really talk about it in the context we do today – when it speaks about it in Deuteronomy, it is specifically talking about the pagans who marked their bodies for their gods.

    I believe that tattoos and piercings can be ok. I have a tattoo myself – it’s really horrible – a small Jesus fish on my back 😀 lol I did it in an act of independence and rebellion when I turned 18, because I could (but I knew my parents would disapprove). I later repented of my attitude and made it right with them. And I have a constant reminder of my attitude with me.

    The tattoo itself isn’t wrong – my attitude and reason for doing it, however, was horribly wrong. And now, with three children, I have to try and explain what mommy’s “sticker/stamp” is. It has turned into a good object lesson for teaching submission to authority and right attitudes, but I still wish I hadn’t gotten it (I would have it removed but it may not ever come off as it’s blue, and it is expensive).

    Anyway, my point in writing this is that, since he is your son under your roof and your authority, you really need to emphasize his submission to your authority (Hebrews 13:17) to your desires for him. Ask him to really pray about why he wants to do it. If it’s just because it looks cool, not good enough. He needs to think about future – explaining tattoos to friends/family/children when they ask, same with piercings, and about his image, as you mentioned, portraying Christ to others.

    It is one thing for someone who was in a gang or not following Christ to have tattoos and piercings all over his body, as a reminder of his former life. It’s an entirely different thing for a Christian to go out and purposely go after them. Piercings are normal for girls, I would never let my sons get them (who do they think they are, Elton John? No thank you, I do not want that connotation – whatever happened to godly manhood?). As for tattoos – what is the reason? I probably wouldn’t recommend it, especially as a teenager, too immature to really decide the reasons for themselves. But who knows, there can be good reasons too I suppose.

    Sorry if that was a bit wordy and confusing, just my thoughts on the matter! Great blog by the way, I found you through ifellowship :0)

    • Thank you Lauren, I can totally relate, as I have a large baby devil tattooed on my lower leg (I often tell the kids, that’s how God’s sense of humor works…I got the tattoo at age 13, never dreaming I would be saved at a later age, and never dreaming I would find it so hideous, and un lady like. I DO think tattoos can be ok, to a point.
      Tattoos aren’t so much the issue topic with the boys right now…it’s piercing! I will NOT waver on that subject, and they know it. tattoos are permanent (unless you spend thousands of dollars)
      They know first hand how miserable I am with my tattoo, and how it limits me. (as I won’t wear shorts in the summer, dresses or skirts…and I would LOVE too!) They also know how painful and expensive it is for removal, as I did have 1 treatment done…just waiting for funds to have it repeated.
      Odd that this is all resurfacing on the day that I actually agreed to allow my 16 yr old to get his lip pierced for his birthday….{sigh} (agreed on a stud, not a hoop)
      I don’t like it…he knows that! We discussed jobs, appearance, etc…and he’s willing to remove it if needed for employment.
      Piercings as a “norm” for girls, unfortunately have also become the “norm” for guys.
      Teenagers can really ware a mother down (especially my 16yr old) At some point I have to just pick my battles! (and pray double time that his heart is changed)

  6. Pingback: Micro Gauge | Carbzine Paintball

  7. Pingback: Ear Bars Piercing | TATTOOS AND BODY PIERCING

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