Living with regret….

So, today surely proved to be a sad day….for many reasons, as we ventured the two hour trip to Lima for our oldest boys college orientation. 
The anxiety / sadness has been slowly creeping in since he officially graduated. But today hurt. It hurt real bad.
No more Band… Marching Band/Band Camp/Drumline/ Concerts/ and just the great camaraderie of the band itself.

My lil Drummer Boy….

Soon, there will be no more Brandon just hangin’ out at night. (we often joke, that he and the ten year old are the only ones that still like us) I’ll miss his sweet little smirk, when he’s crossed between embarrassed and thinking something is funny. His obsession with microwave popcorn will now smell up the dorm instead of our home.
I know he is only going TWO hours away, and he will likely be home a couple weekends a month, but…..I’m still kinda freaking out. And to top it, during orientation, they pretty much told us parents that it’s not good to let them know your freaking out, because it may make the transition even harder on them. They said to begin the transition from Adult/Child relationship to Adult/Adult relationship……. ~oh sigh~….
Does that mean I can’t do his laundry, buy his groceries, prepare meals for the freezer, come clean his dorm once in a while? (ok, I was kidding with that last one….I know this boy, and I don’t enter his pit room NOW!)
But That….That is just the normal “stuff” I will have to process through… they say!
What really saddened me today is when I learned that the financial aid wasn’t going to stretch quite as far as I had hoped, and well…..I’m not really sure how we will be able to provide the difference for each 6 week session. (it’s broken up a little differently through this University)
You see, although God has ALWAYS provided, and I am ever so grateful. We haven’t always made the wisest financial decisions, and well we have pretty much been broke our children’s entire lives. Not poor, but broke (I believe their is  difference.)
One thing we have learned is….. to stay.away.from.debt!!!!                                                                        
If you don’t have money (like cash) to buy it,
then you don’t buy it. 
Or… you save up to buy it….
and guess what?
We survive!!!
We don’t have car loans, or bank loans, or credit cards. But we do have a bankruptcy in our past. 😦
And we really did learn from it. Although we aren’t successfully participating in the program, we are firm believers in Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. We are just still trying to keep our four walls up.
Anywho……with the great revelation from the financial aid counselor today, it has left us with some tough decisions to make. and to break to our son.
He would need extra money to pay for his college classes. Money that is so freely offered to him via the student loan system.
We have thought of a few “ideas” to throw his way….
1. Take the student loans, consider it not only an investment, but also a motivation to continue on. He certainly isn’t going to want to drop classes, or the college all together and have no marketable means (like a degree) to begin paying them back.
2. Wait a year, get a full time job, work hard and bank LOTS of money.  The real reservation we have here is, B isn’t, nor has he ever really been a “driven” type of person in academic eyes. (remember my gratitude to the alternative education program) So, if he post pones a year, he may not be “driven” or as excited to get into this program.
3. Walk from our home and move to Lima, so that he an cut out the housing costs. Which would’t eliminate ALL that he is short, but it could help. Clearly that isn’t a very feasible option, and as much as I hate him leaving, I’m looking forward to him gaining this whole college experience. Remember….he’s breaking the generational curse!
I’m in tears all day that we didn’t plan better for his future. for his education. for his Life!
and He is the FIRST of FIVE!!!
“For I know the plans I have for You” declares the Lord! “Plans to prosper you, and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”
Jeremiah 29:11
It probably will come down to him taking a loan.  and it breaks my heart. Like. For. Real!
The university he is attending is a hands on type school, with a lot of applied technology! and He will be gaining his bachelors degree in applied science. But it will all be automotive/high performance focused. So…killing some time at the local community college would really just waste his time and resources.
I certainly don’t want him to come out of this being so burdened with student debt that he can’t enjoy his accomplishments…                    
So, from here…providing he chooses the loan route. What ideas can you share for us to give him, as far as advice, and ways to knock the debt out quickly? 
I would gladly downsize, sell my possessions, etc….to help my boys succeed in their education and dreams. But I didn’t plan for them, like my heavenly Father has for me.
And I am painfully regretful!

About multipurpose-mom

Stacey is a: Saved by Grace, God fearing, Bible believing, Child of the King! In her chaotic world of full time employment, being a wife, raising 5 boys, laundry, dishes, carpool, PTSA, and on and on: She is STILL trying to fulfill God's call in her share her story, her battles, her triumphs, and testimonies of being a teen mom from a drug addicted home, to being the not so perfect wife and mother she is today! Her prayer is to lift up and encourage others through the words that God lays before her! In her chaos she has learned, she is not just a wife and mother.....she is a taxi driver, a nurse, a referee, a counselor, a maid, a cook and so much more...she has MANY purposes! Welcome to, Here we hope you find strength, humor, tears, and tangibility for your journey....whatever it is! Please feel free to comment (we LOVE comments) and if you are blessed, please won't you share the blessing with others! Thanks for Visiting! In Christ!

4 responses »

  1. My suggestion would be that he have a job while he goes to school. If he would fade from academics if he stayed out for a year, then he could take the loans for a single semester, and then work really hard to make sure that he has the money to pay for school from here on out. There are still a few weeks until school starts. He could earn a few hundred bucks to help pay the semester. I worked through school, and I consider it a valuable part of my education.

  2. Not sure how things work in the U.S. but with your dad being a Vet, is there some benefit he would be entitled to throught the VA….here in Canada sometimes the families of Vet’s are entitled to help through our local legions….something to think about at least…..:)

  3. After my parents divorced, my mother was raising three girls on her own. Thankfully, even when my mom was taken care of financially by my dad, she was always showing us the value of money. Around our house garage sales were a staple and repurposed furniture and antiques was her hobby. I still enjoy doing that. Anyway, I was the middle child and the first to be accepted into a major university with major expenses. We worked very diligently with my school and the library to find any avenue of grant, scholarship or loan that I could obtain to help deter the costs. I was able to attend the first year utilizing those funds for school costs and money I saved over working that summer for incidentals. After my first year, I worked a part time job for the remainder of my education. I think that helped to mold me and my experience as a college student and adult. I did not take for granted the learning I was buying which I think was different than most others attending the school on mommy and daddy’s dime. I would like the same experience for my kids even if I could cover every cost for them. It teaches time management, prioritization, dedication and work ethic. Those skills for life are priceless. I think as parents we want to be able to give our kids the world but that doesn’t always mean things and your children are very blessed with the love, time and morals you have exhibited while rearing them. Also, trust God. He will provide.

  4. Awe, Stacey! God will provide a way even now! My parents did not plan for my college education. I took out student loans and grants. It will all work out! Just be grateful that we live in a country that allows opportunites to better ourselves. God will provide!!!

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