I’m just going to throw it out there.
I’m really not feeling it this holiday season. This year has been a tough transition with 3 out of 5 of our boys growing up and moving on (and I swear to you, it happened overnight)
Brandon is still home, but he’s never home. (I guess at 19 you have other things to do 🙂 Philip isn’t home, and rarely makes it down between work and school, and Boyd’s work/school schedule only allows him to come to hang out occasionally. (when I beg him)
We have so quickly transitioned from a house of five boys to a house of two that I’ve been sort of left in the dust here. Everyone isn’t here for birthday dinners, everyone wasn’t here for putting up the tree (truth is, the tree is up, and the ornaments STILL aren’t on it) The weekend after my birthday we actually managed to have ALL five boys under this roof at once…but we had a very short window of time (maybe 30 minutes) and so….I begged, and guilted, and pleaded for a picture (of ALL of us, for Christmas) and here’s what we got:
(Yes…the “older” boys could not contain themselves, while the younger one was over it before it even began.) and honestly I miss that quirkiness in them.
These boys: they cause me grief and heartache and misery and guilt….but they also bring me joy, and completeness and a love that is unconditional. and I miss them, I miss them so much!
It’s like…I don’t know how to place one foot in front of the other when planning things without them. How do I carry on when they aren’t here??? This is tough, I am attached to my kids, and I miss them dang it!
I really don’t remember anyone warning me that this was all going to be so hard. Other parents always talked about how they couldn’t wait til their kids were 18! Well, I would go back in a heartbeat to having five wildly crazy unruley boys running around here, breaking my pretties, and eating me out of house and home.
So….who out there has had children grow up and move on? How do you deal? emotionally? socially? family?
Please tell me it’s going to get better?