Survival… continued

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To read the first part of this Survival series, you may want to start here. Honestly, I’m not sure how long or frazzled this topic will get.

A Survival mode of sorts. and my sweet baby boys world has come to a crashing hault. and my our world is being shaken.

It is effecting me as a mother, him as a father, and our youngest  is losing his place of exisitance all to often. All to often our every ounce of energy is being consumed by his big brother. Whether it’s because we are stratigically walking the mine field in order to prevent a blow, or if we are taming the flames after an emotional explosion. He loses placement, and I can tell it’s beginnging to affect him, and I’m not quite sure how to fix it.

So, now that we aren’t pretending that it will go away on it’s own. I’m not pretending that God will magically heal him, although I know He can and truly believe He will. I know that we can’t do this alone. We need help! It’s hard, seeking help, receiving help.

His room was stripped of everything aside from a bed, a dresser, clothing, and a t.v for movies. His privelages removed from his reach. No phone, friends, internet, or such. The first day of this was extremely rough for him. He was angry, and obscene, and plain ole emotionally spent. He screamed at us, cursed us, threatened to take his life, and beyond.

And then he has a good day, and that sweet, platinum hearted boy that’s trapped inside emerges. Even just for a while, and you begin to forget. Forget about the battle that your really fighting.

But truth is:

I am exhausted. Emotinally. Physically. Spiritually. exhausted!

We are basically keeping him under direct superision of parents only. Since he doesn’t sleep much at night, we aren’t either. We have pretty much been taking shifts in order to keep him under direct supervision. And when I’m not sure my eyes will withstand any longer, I place myself into a space on the hallway floor just outside his door.

We are no longer allowing him to deny couseling and help. We are becoming more strict, (I think) yet still trying to love him and enjoy him during the moments he allows.

He’s quiet, and well behaved if left unprovoked. I let him sleep later than I should because it’s my only rest.My only quiet. My only small piece of sanity. and As the evening falls he becomes more intense. Even when well behaved, he becomes more active. He has to be constantly making a noise, drumming on furniture, stomping instead of walking, noises with his mouth. and by the end of the day, I’m tired and don’t have alot of patience for it. It’s almost refreshing though, to see THIS type of behavior. You see, our 19 yr old who also struggles with ADHD went through a very similar (evening time) phase when he was this age, and for 2 years we went through doctors, and sleep studies, and neuro psych exams….only to be told he has “idiopathic hypersomnia” ….translation: “it’s any idiots guess why your son is so hyper at night” I mean really, that kid reminded us of a toddler on a sugar high!! and Baely all to often reminds me of him then. And in a strange sort of way, I find a tad bit of comfort in it. Because although our oldest, even at 19 has a serious lack of filter for making good judgements, he’s an all around good kid. laid back, yet funny…. 🙂

So, I will continue in my Survival mode, but not continue to bore you with it…..(until next time!)

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About multipurpose-mom

Stacey is a: Saved by Grace, God fearing, Bible believing, Child of the King! In her chaotic world of full time employment, being a wife, raising 5 boys, laundry, dishes, carpool, PTSA, and on and on: She is STILL trying to fulfill God's call in her life.....to share her story, her battles, her triumphs, and testimonies of being a teen mom from a drug addicted home, to being the not so perfect wife and mother she is today! Her prayer is to lift up and encourage others through the words that God lays before her! In her chaos she has learned, she is not just a wife and mother.....she is a taxi driver, a nurse, a referee, a counselor, a maid, a cook and so much more...she has MANY purposes! Welcome to Multipurposemom.com, Here we hope you find strength, humor, tears, and tangibility for your journey....whatever it is! Please feel free to comment (we LOVE comments) and if you are blessed, please won't you share the blessing with others! Thanks for Visiting! In Christ!

2 responses »

  1. Dearest Stacey,
    You are right many will say you should not have posted this but applaude you. Lord bless you dearheart.
    I will continue to pray for you and your family. I am so grateful God has spoken to your heart. This trial is a moutain and a very dificult one at best. I do not have many words of wisdom to share, but this one, I know our Mighty Living God and Savior Jesus Christ is able through His Spirit to touch and go beyond any place we think possible.
    I would like to leave you with a few scriptures I trust will help: Psalm 29…please read the whole chapter it isonly 12 verses. A great promise lies in verse 12. The second scripture is Romans 14:17 and third, 2 Thess. 3:16.
    Once again dear Lady I will continue to remember you, your son(s) and your husband.
    With much prayer and love in Christ,
    Candy

  2. Pingback: Survival « Multipurp0se-m0m

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